I have a lot to celebrate today. To all the beautiful people in my life: I celebrate each and every one of you.
But today, above all else, I am celebrating that I’m falling in love with myself.
Let’s get honest here: I have a hard time loving myself. Many people laugh at me when I say this. Yes, I may be confident, but I am never satisfied with where I’m at in life. I always want to be more – happier, smarter, kinder, stronger, faster. Loving myself is complex and difficult. It’s a delicate balance: wanting to be the best that I can be, but loving and appreciating my life at that moment. I finally understand that in order for me to achieve the things I want – healthy relationships, success, adventures, happiness – that I must love myself first. I must learn to love me.
Sounds selfish doesn’t it? I thought so too, until I realized that falling in love with myself has allowed me to love others truly, completely and most importantly, better. Loving others is truly an inside job.
If loving yourself still sounds strange to you, think about this. Who is someone you truly love? How do you feel and act towards them?
Chances are you think they are pretty awesome. You enjoy spending time with them. You are compassionate and forgiving when they let you down. At the same time, you also have expectations for them. You might not love everything about them, but you love, accept and support them.
Now turn that love you have for someone else…inward, towards yourself. You are not infatuated with yourself, you still have expectations for yourself, and you don’t have to fulfill every selfish desire. But you love yourself unconditionally: you are kind, compassionate and loving.
Feeling more comfortable? Good.
Now the real question is: if you truly loved yourself, what would you do? I have realized that when I truly love myself:
- I take the time to care for myself. I sleep in, meal plan, see a life coach, exercise and take that extra time to get ready. At times, I feel guilty about “wasting” time or spending alone time, but I am reminded that when I nurture myself, my body responds with vitality.
- I indulge in things I love. Wine, books, laughing with friends, cinnamon dolce lattes and adventures, whatever makes me happy I make time and set a budget for. These things are to be celebrated, reminding myself when I spend the time or money for them that I deserve to enjoy them (keeping a gratitude journal helps track this).
- I forgive myself. I have high expectations for myself, but I realize that my journey is defined by my lived experiences: the highs, lows, and everything in between. Loving myself means embracing and honoring all that I am and everything that has brought me to today.
My challenge to you (and to myself!) today and every day: add “Share my love with myself” to the top of the to-do list.
You are most deserving of your love.
Take the time to fall in love with you.
Happy Valentine’s Day my friends.
Xo.
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I am happy to read that you are falling in love with yourself, because, and I am certain that I do not speak solely on this, I fell in love with you the moment I met you! You are truly one of the most amazing and beautiful people I know, both inside and out. It is humbling and heart-warming to be so inspired by such a young woman. Your deeply rich soul is something to admire.
Wow – I sat here for minutes, not knowing how to respond. Your compliments are such a beautiful gift and inspire to keep writing and putting myself out there. Thank you from the very bottom of my heart. I am so thankful to have met you during our Calgary Stampede marketing adventures. A catch-up over a nice glass of wine is overdue!
The most important of the three ways you mentioned to love yourself is forgiveness. Be kind to yourself and when you make mistakes forgive and accept yourself for who you are not and not who you wish you were. Love to you from Jenna 😉
I couldn’t agree more. It’s the most important (and for me, the hardest). I find that forgiving myself is a process – not a quick fix: making the choice to not live in the past as well as engaging in gratitude & positive self-talk (feels silly at first, but works for me!).
An interesting topic… thanks for reaching out Jenna!
I am a perfectionist, and that has always made it hard to love myself, because I know my own faults so well. I am never done thinking those faults over and wondering how I could have done things better. If you can succeed in loving yourself despite your imperfections, then you will also have learned how to love others without trying to solve their problems or fix them. Maybe. LOL Being a perfectionist is not easy on the people around you. Why is it so easy for some people to love themselves and so hard for others? Life is a mystery. Cheers, Brenda
I love this perspective 🙂 I haven’t been taking very good care of myself lately and your post just reminds me to fall back in love with myself, and start taking care of me so I can take care of others. Lovely words!
Love it. Glad I could be some inspiration, Cailtlin!
A really great and wise post!